Emails for Junkies

I received this email from Rachie. hehe. and I must say, its really apple-polishing the gers. *OOPS*

but allow me to say something in the guys point of views. If you kinda disagree, welcome your comments in the box. lolx

1. If you like her...ASK HER OUT already!!!!!!!! (statistics showned 9 out of 10 guys get rejected on first date, its making them very demoralized. WHo da hell doesnt know this, OF COZ IF I LIKE FIONA XIE, I WOULD ASK HER OUT ALREADY! its not as simple as 'do you wanna go out with me?' rather its HER feeling comfortable about it. PERIOD)

2. When you hug her, put your ARMS around her WAIST and hold her close. (When we get to the point of asking her out, then you tell me about it lolx)

3. When you walk next to her, get as CLOSE as you can to her. (gers usually call these kinda guys, CHEEKOPEKS)

4. If she's the only one in your life, TELL HER. (If she is the only one in your life and you lose her, you'll probably end up on the MRT tracks. and we'll have a full-time cleaner on the tracks)

5. ALWAYS let her knows how much you like her, love her, or think about her. (Dun let the other guys hear it, they have a name for this kinda guy, its call CHEE HONG. Be discreet abt it)

6. Give her presents and cards for no reason, SHE WILL RETURN THE FAVOUR...ALWAYS. (If you give her something for no reason, she probably think you're after something. and the FAVOUR RETURNED, in 10 cases out of 10, is A WORD OF THANKS, SuckerS)

7. If she hangs up on you, call her right back. (I think this guy makes me so irritated if i am the ger. IF I HANG UP, means I finished talking. YOu expect me to say SOMETHING ELSE?)

8. Always offer to pay. If she says NO twice, then let her pay but make a deal that you get to pay next time (offer a date too!). (ok this sounds fair enough. but i hardly had gers telling me NO to treats -_- and I am usually the one who wont see her for quite sometime after this kNS)

9. Kiss her lightly every chance you get. (refer to CHEEKOPEHS post on top)

10. Look in her eyes and kiss her on the lips, forehead, or nose. (She'll PROBABLY BE CLOSING HER EYES THE ENTIRE TIME!!)

11. If she says she's cold, >don't be an idiot and say "Me too." and stand there; give her your jacket or just simply hold her in your arms. (if she is cold, AND U ARE COLD, it means THE PLACE IS COLD. GO TO WARMER PLACES, idiot.)

12. Don't force her to do anything she's not comfortable with. (You mean sex?)

13. Invite her to dinner or somewhere where you can talk, instead of the movies. (Provided she dun yak the whole nite away and you'll kick urself for asking her out to dinner instead of movies)

14. Try not to ask her if she's mad at you EVERY TIME you speak to her. (any guy who came to ask a ger a question and asked if she is mad at him, is truly.. MAD, UNLESS YOU OWE HER LIKE 1 MILLION BUCKS and nvr paid la! OF coz she will be mad at you!)

15. Always tell her you LOVE her only if you really mean it. (Everytime I mean it, 9 out of 10 cases she's attached and your words is slightly overdue, DUDE)

16. DON'T pressure her to do anything she isnt READY to do. When she is ready, she will let you know. She just wants everything to be more SPECIAL and PERFECT. So appreciate what she does do with you. (you mean sex issit? WHY CANT U BE MORE SPECIFIC! I just hate the writer)

17. DON'T go and tell your friends anything that happens between you two, cause it will hurt her and make her mad...and it willNEVER happen again. ( you mean like after sex and tell your buddies how good she is in BED? its really stupidity, BLOG IT!!!)

GUYS- repost if you are going to treat your next gf this way, or do treat her this way. ( i repost this because I think half the time the writer who wrote this spam mails gets away with more innocent gers like rach believing in it)

GIRLS- repost if you think guys should do this (Ok now I beginning to think Rach actually fell for it)

When a GIRL is quiet, Millions of things are running through her mind. (when a ger is quiet, DUN TOUCH HER. Half the time she's thinking of how to break it to you GENTLY.)

When a GIRL is not arguing, she is thinking deeply. ( I had galfriends who gave me blur looks and she's not even arguing yet)

When a GIRL looks at you with eyes full of questions, she is wondering how long you will be around. (or perhaps she's thinking HOW LONG will this guy takes to GO AWAY, dun he just GEDDIT?)

When a GIRL answers "I'm fine" after a few seconds, she is not at all fine. (she's fine, when she is finished imagining you being run over by an SBS bus, 3 cabs and 2 MRTS)

When a GIRL stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying. (Gers dun stare at liar, they ignore them)

When a GIRL lies on your chest, she is wishing for you to be hers forever. (Erm, this is too corny. I would presume she is just too tired and the couch is so far away)

When a GIRL wants to see you everyday, she wants to be pampered. (I pity those poor guys. WHAT ABOUT SPACE? and money involved..)

When a GIRL says "I love you", she means it. (CORNY! SKIP!)

When a GIRL says "I miss you", no one in this world can miss you more than that (CORNY CORNY CORNY!!!)

P:S: I am sure the ger readers would just shake their heads and sigh aloud. " NO wonder EAST IS SINGLE! AND SERVES HIM RIGHT lolx"