Tuesday, October 28, 2008

漂泊天涯 苦苦挣扎 心已麻



作曲:林倛玉 作词:小寒
 
要是你心里真的没我
你不会剪去了长发
闪动如蝴蝶在双颊 那是眼泪吗
要是你心里真的有我
你不会嘴边无火花
静静观察 人世浮华 心已麻

假如说钢铁磨成针 只要愿意等
只要肯爱得深
是不是就有这可能
有可能打动这铁石心肠的人

可惜就算梦能成真 有谁猜得准
能分到多少福份
生命的同花顺 底牌没有你
我也认

假如说温柔是谎话
你不会颠覆这想法
你撑着眼儿都不眨 是眼泪吗

假如你真的放得下
你怎会一言也不发
漂泊天涯 苦苦挣扎 心已麻

Sunday, October 26, 2008

如果有一天这么来了。。。


其实我骗了自己好久。

以为努力工作,钱财,事业,感情会随着来。

今天一早,出了一趟远门。到了中午,接到了耗运,Cynthia的妈妈过世了。

于是,当晚出席了冥礼。

同Irene也赶到了现场,我跟她尉问了Cynthia,逗留了大约三个钟头才离去。

回家时已是深夜十二时了。

反正已挺晚了,我坚持送Irene回家。

在车上,我跟她开始闲聊了。

周边的好友及自己发展方向。

不知不觉又提起‘那个女人’

Irene:“她离开你有好几年了吧?”
Me:“好像有六年了。”
Irene:“六年去忘一个人,好像很久喔。”
Me:-不发一语,继续开车-
Irene:“还记得她前男友的名吗?”
Me:“不就是K吗?”
Irene: “现在不是了。”
Me:“好像不重要了吧?”
Irene:“她跟K分手后,有个新个男友,感情不错。男友还是青河工作那个俱乐部的会员呢。”
Me:“喔,他因该很有钱咯!”
Irene:“你,还会想着她吗?”
Me:“忘记,很难。不过我也很少去想没有答案的决局。”
Irene:“是时间冲淡了还是你长大了?”
Me:-微笑带过-
Irene:“她年底要结婚了。”
Irene:“明年会摆婚宴。”
Me:“好啊。”

剩下的车程,我很静。她也知道,接着也不说话了。
送她到家,她向我道谢,我就开走了。

一路上,在想着我们的对话。

“是时间还是我骗得自己不再去追问?”

我也答不出来。

开了车上的音响,边开边哼着专辑里的情歌。

那天终于到了,是时候让我做出选择。

大家都在痛苦中过日子。不管是活人还是死人,都一样痛苦。

我想我需要出个远门好好的散散心。

I need help. I really do.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

The Hiatus


Wow, I almost couldnt believe the hiatus I am taking from blogging ever since I turned 30.

Believed it or not, a lot of things happpened in my life. I had a hard time adjusting and trying to catch up with things around me.

I came back from a 2 week long reservist in August. All of the guys I knew are slowly turning fathers. Even my bunk mate are all talking abt their impending marriages to so-and-so.

and I was wondering ...

What is their freaking rush anyway?

then the unfortunate thing happened. my desktop whom had been serving me faithfuly for the past 3 years, decided to give up on me during these times. so I am largely 'invisible' during the nites. (Most of you readers knew I am like 24/7 on msn and cyberspace anyway)

I even had msn friends who sms-ed me and asked me if I am suffering from depression or something lolx. coz I had never disappeared so long from msn.

I cant pay my bills online, I cant do fund transfers, I cant book movie tickets during the weekends, I cant check out my friend's blog entries, cant check email, cant do paperwork at home, cant access for information. I feel so crippled.

And then there's the iphone craze I had fer a lil while. My company is slowly plagued with iphone users. Firstly, the technical director who happens to be an angmoh , he's a norweigian by the way. A very jolly old fellow who had a beard like santa claus. Someone whom I faithfully call Mr M.

Mr M was the first in my company to carry the phone. then his assistant, Ms M, also started. then it spread to the finance mgr, and god knows who else it went to. Deeply poisioned by the iphone craze. Thought of waiting for the iphone from starhub, but was told that my singtel line is valid for handset upgrade coming November. So GOODBYE N95! Hello iphone baby!!!

What have I been busy with lately?
1) Andy & Jolyn Marriage is coming this Saturday 18th Oct. I was 'arrowed' by Andy to be the emcee for the night. With Joaniki. ( And I am damn glad none of my HKE friends is attending the event, or else I will be so malu )
To prepare for this event, I had sleepless nites trying to write the scripts and coordinating with Joanne. A very unlikely combination. I was to present the crowd with English while JOanne deals with it in Mandarin.

And why are we the unlikely duo partner? She flys and I sails. For the entire mth we are preparing, we nvr really got down to anything concretet till the last week of their wedding. and now Joanne is probably in her hotel room in Kuala Lumpur trying to figure out my english speech and converting it into Chinese at this very moment. I had a dateline for her to submit back the script to me as I will need to print those out in little cards for ease of usage.

and the practise session? On the actual day of the marriage itself! God bless us for this last-min work and I hope we dont f**ked up the whole show. ~_~"

2) Changes in management in G
Was told that my snr mgr had decided to release our dept to the sales director. and my dept was no longer affiliated to his dept in terms of sales & growth. Our Sales director isnt an easy man to please. Mr C is probably gonna grill me and my boss coming next year.

What ever prompted this change I do not know. All i knew is, there is no running away. and the ah nehs will not be affected as they are workers anyway. and only the sales guys will be grilled. No prize for guessing who.

Eric had proposed a change of title in my post to Mr C. I probably would have get a lil rise *again* and a promotion. But as the saying goes, the package can change but the shit remains the same anyway. We'll see how it goes.

3) Training Mr R
The new foreman came in just at the right time. Not only I get to offload lots of service jobs to him, he's also a fast learner. we hit it off quite well, and I am sure he will take the men to greater heights without me around. But workload nvr seems to ease for me. I had to do more because Eric is OFFLOADING TO ME at the same time too. -_-"

4) Preparing for G Family day in Sentosa.
A lota of preparations is on the way. Posters and request for gifts from suppliers is already in. Infact some of the gifts are quite fascinating. Swavorski Crystals to be given away. LCD TV and travel vouchers as well as cash. Yup, sounds like a sweet deal to me.

5) Preparing to shift out to Vietnam (aka Long term)
I did not anticipate I will be leaving anytime. But boss had hinted that our new boss, aka Mr C, is also heavily involved in our product line in vietnam, and we had handled loads of vietnams enquiries and deliveries over the span of 6 mths. He wanted someone over for a longer period of time and to develop NOT Only the marine sector but the industrial sector.

and talking abt industrial sector, he is talking abt me. Eric had proposed that I travel to Batam this coming week and Later to Mirri, Sarawak the next month. I heard that Mirri is a dead man town with no facilities for anything at all! ( No wonder Eric is so kind to let me go lolx )

But vietnam is definitely the place to go. Ho Chih Minh City followed by Hai Phong. I hoped it wont take more than 3 mths. But I dont have a gd feeling abt this anyway. I mean look at this way, Mr C goes to vietnam every week. Surely he would expect his subordintates to surpass his limits? We leave it open to intrepretation la.

We're expanding quite fast I think. We're getting more customers from Phillipines and even from Cambodia and Myanmar. These markets will be explored by us sooner or later. and the competitions by our ex-colleague in local markets doesnt make things any better for me.

Geez i know its all about work. I guess some of you are already fast asleep. Social life i am trying my best to makeup for it. Tot of gg to bangkok this ennd of yr but due to the political crisis in the country and my impending trip. any planning to me is fultile except maybe a 3 or 4 days short trip to neighbouring countries.

My annual leave had accumulated to 28 days. (For someone who worked in this line for a yr plus, the number of AL accredited to me is quite scary and I hardly took any leave to clear 'em. )

So my aim for this remainder of the yr, TAKE A HOLIDAY EAST! Gambatte!