Women

I was talking to a friend on msn earlier on,
I didnt know him especially well, but he came to wish me Merry Xmas.

We talked about minor stuffs, then we talked about how time flies, then we dwell about this particular gal he had been with. For a fleeting second, I could feel that I am talking to myself, especially when I heard him type, his tone, his messages, his disappointments, his wishes.

I felt that I am talking to myself of years ago.

I could offer no advice. For advises often fell on deaf ears. I could offer no condolences, for condolences I believed, is best suited for funerals. Thus I told him this.

'There are many a times when I felt life giveth me no choice. There are many a times, when the person we chose, had a change of mind. We could no longer master our own fate, but adapt to the situation, that people have left us with. You could scream and shout all you want, but in the end, just like a great big party, someone had to clear up the mess.

Which in this case, it was yours. Foregone, untold party.'

The one who stole your heart, which you willingly gave, decides, if she is here for a reason, and most unfortunately not, decides to stay for only a season. Life is fragile, for it is short, but if we giveth ourselves too little options, too few chances, we might feel like Fate is unfair to us.

You could carry on in the hunter and prey game, or you could try not to focus on this game at all, and hope that Fate dealt you a better hand unknowingly. I was a poor NS man from the army. I was compared unnecssary from one person to the other. I was constantly reminded that I came from a background which the society often frowns on. But yet I toiled on, clenching my fist, my teeth, to reminds that everything I fought for now, my career, my future, my success, my financial security, that I could proveth, that people who once looked down on me, is wrong.

I couldnt assure you success, but I could assure you, you have half a chance if you tried. To defend what you believed in, and with efforts, you'll reap a whole field of harvest, if not, half a field. It is a never-ending process, probably till you die, but believe me when I tell you this, your heart, caught up in this spectrum of life-never-ending chases, will heal one day. and you'll find, a gal, or perhaps more (laughs) waiting for you, at the end of the rainbow.

- and I promptly closed the msn browser. and gone for my bath. -

X'mas is over GUYS! time to welcome 2008! In a few days time! Yahoo!

Oh yeah, huili is back from Cambodia, I cant wait to hear her adventures. And many ppl birthdays is happening around this month too. *BROKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE*

Merry Xmas and Happy New year everyone

Yoohoo!!!

After the break on Sunday, I felt very lazy to go to work today. But since its only till 1pm... oh well.. :P

Anyway I know its been a long time since I have updated, I went for a dinner with kenneth,belinda,barty and joanne lasy night. then later Milk came to join us.
Dinner at Spaggeddies is good *slurps* and the price is quite alright. Everyone of us paid abt 30 bucks per head.

Then we proceed to a coffeehouse. As it was a sunday, we had coffee at Millenium Walk and later I drove Milk and bel home.

That sums to what I have for Xmas yesterday. I received a few presents from the new colleagues in G. Most of them are singles ladies pressies! XD

Two is my clerk and coordinator. One from the accounts. XD

But tonite...tonite is DA NITE MY FRIENDS!

Listen to the jingle bells jingle bells jingle all da wayyyyyyyyyyy...

Have a merry Xmas and happy new year everyone!

-Wild night ahead-

Warlord & Zombistic Lifestyle

I find this movie rather meaningful.

The Taiping Rebellion (or Rebellion of Great Peace) was a large-scale revolt against the authority and forces of the Qing Government in China.

This movie starring Jet Li, Andy Lau and Takeshi Kaneshiro was an absolute cast that portrays brotherhood in a raw emotional manner.
One was an ambitious general, one was a loyal brother and the other was a naive follower.

Jet Li was once a general for the Qing dynasty but due to a battle, he lost all thousands of his men and he feigned death to escape the whole scene. His 'aid' the Kui army did not help him instead watch his army fall. He hated the Kui army ever since.

Thus he collabarated with a band of bandits lead by Andy and Takeshi, formed an alliance with them, and seek a come back to the battlefield. Andy and Takeshi respected him and called him 'big brother'.

But JEt Li is a cruel man in this movie. He make use of the bandit army to win the few battles, eventually become one of the famous pioneer in quenching the rebels. He took credit for the battle won but the army only respected Andy lau because 'he really is the leader' in their battalion.

Jet also stole Andy lau wife who was later killed by the younger naive brother, Takeshi. It is a roller coaster events that depicts the human nature, brotherhood and betrayal. All in the name of glory, power and greed.

You guys should go and watch it. It leaves me pondering, if everything in life is predestined that we should repeat history, whether be it in politics, or everyday life, where constant struggles to reach the top, is either by despicable means or true hard work.

Work is becoming heavier as usual. Without Kenn, work is a constant struggle. with Kenn, its still the same. But now without a 'buffer', Eric is constantly checking on me like a hawk. I find this kinda environment suffocating. I wonder... sometimes... if I am really happier in this environment or just go back to PSM. ;/

But I do not give regret a chance to live in my mind. Once you take a step, you can only go forward. Not backwards.

We finally have a chance to enter Jurong Island. The security is really tight there. But once we went across the border, wow, I have never seen such clear skies. For there is no tall buildings there. and the road is smooth. you can fly kites there and there is no disturbances or obstacles.

So in the hot noon, you can find no shade because there are no big trees, only building to hide in. Its a place unlike Singapore.

Company is having a sales dinner this wednesday. The sales team in G is really big though. Diff dept, diff roles. plus the directors and mgrs, I could count about 20 sales staff. The 'elite team' responsible for bringing the dough to G. G had a turnover of a 'few millions' every month. (I was like doing close to 1mil in my own dept for AN ENTIRE YEAR by myself)

No wonder they say the Marine industry is a sunrise industry. All the ppl are so busy that they had no time to spend their money. (not for me though lolx, I got no money and no time BLEH)

Xmas is slowly coming. I almost forgot that Haji is in December! One careful planning of annual leave could gives you 6 days of leave in a single week. (I wish I COULD DO THAT, but in G, no AL, NO AWS- for probation staff)

-I almost feel like i am in jail-

AWS is out for me. They will be getting additonal month pay on the 19th. :(

Anyway, there is nothing for me to look forward to this year. Only in Jan when my probation ends, I will get a mini raise to confirm my post. then in June, there will be an increment raise for all staff (probably 3% which IS REALLY sTINGY)

I shall be planning for a short trip overseas next yr. I am almost bored to death in Singapore. Probably a short 3D2N trip in Bangkok for shopping and clubbing. then I might have to postphone it because THE GAHMEN from the GREEN UNIFORM DEPT demands that I go for my gym class in Jan and it'll last abt 8 weeks.

actually 1 yr is pretty short. With the gahmen breathing on your neck every now and then, the company busy periods, the commitments internal and external, it leaves me very little space for me to think. brood. anaylse.

Feel like a zombie sometimes.

I feel like drinking YET i cant because I am driving now. I feel like clubbing yet I feel restricted because I fear I cant wake up for tml work. I feel like screaming and shouting yet I cant, for because for what I wanted to do, ppl will view me as a nutcase, and nutcases, will be send to specialized institution in Hougang, and I'll lose my job, my mind, everything.

So the pros of being a zombie in Singapore, is probably, everyone is feeling how I felt in Life, so its okay to join the crowd. Being with the majoriy is okay. Just dont stand out.

Watching star awards currently, so sad my bimboistic Fiona Xie and sweet Jeanette is out of the top 10.

OKay I should stop for now. I feel like I have nothing much to say, all i wanna say is...

My only hobby I could do is clicking my mouse in Facebook and earning zombie points.

Perfect for a person like me. DEAD and no life. lolx

TATA!

FIRED

Not me.

Although in G, everyone seems like the weakest link now. This has also shown me that everyone is not immune to the temperaments of Adwin.

But who is to blame, for the departure of kenn? He works in G for the past 5-6 yrs. had a wife, a kid and a nice looking honda airwave. Now he had nothing. For all his 'patterns' and 'stunts', i guess he should see it coming.

It was just the beginning of the week. and lunchtime is not even here. He was summoned to the boss office. -closed door-

and the next instance, i was busy with my mountains of assignments and deliveries, I heard shuffling of feet behind me. I heard packing. then Kenn turned to me, gave me a box of namecards.

"For you" he said.

"I am not working anymore"

I tot he was kidding. So I shrugged him off and went to the fax machine outside.

Foreman came, and I caught him talking to him. He told the foreman the same thing, I joined in the joke, I commented.

"He's probably changing tables!"

-Both me and foreman laughed-

but he's not laughing. Only when he passed his laptop to Eric then we realized he's really speaking the truth. then Eric passed me the laptop and says, " congrats now you own a laptop.'

I was stunned.

I heard some news that lead to his departure. He was suppose to be helping with the other dept mgr, but somehow he managed to f**ked up the customer tt day or he nvr went for the job as dicated, so Kelvin(the mgr) came back tt saturday, spoke in fierce harsh tone to Eric (coz kenn is still under Eric until i completely take over). but they stopped when I enter the room.

then Monday came, and Adwin promptly kicked his ass.

So I am suffering right now. For he left quite sudden. and left many tasks/reports undone. and the load of the work goes to none other than me. (sigh)

and I earned myself a nickname across the whole company. They called me "Lee Hsien Yang". -_-" if you read the papers, LHY left Singtel to join F&N, and the next thing, a high mgtment director left the coy. So speculators say LHY joined one place, someone impt must go.

So in this case, they refers to me. -_-" (BUT EXCUSE ME MANZ, LHY have deputies whereever he goes, the ONLY DEPUTIES I HAVE IS MY RIGHT AND LEFT HAND)

I forsee i'll be very busy till there's any replacements coming. (still hoping)

Anyway, I finally get to meet a longtime no see friend of mine. She's working in the insurance and financial line. I guess being in this line, one had learned how to be competitive in order to survive.

So it been quite a while since I saw her. promised to let her take over a 10K account from my CPF. as a moral support to a friend, and let her handle one of my funds. But because we been hogging the deal as I changed job not long ago and we kept missing our apptments, we managed to get it solved tonight.

but it had leaves me with a bitter taste in my mouth. For her words, of advices, contains nothing but repriminds of my lack of coverage of my policies and later half-banter jitters on my 'poor financial state' and even offered to borrow me to get a plan.

I was... amused. Never had i seen her behaving like this. She used to be so sweet. issit the environment that changed her? Or issit because i dont understand her well?

So the ultimum came when she casually mentioned abt me being so nice to her in the past while she is a student in Aussie and offered to pay for my policies, I gave her a smiled and replied:

"For what I done in the past for you, I asked for no return. Your kindness I will rememeber. Excuse me but I must go home now"

I dun understand why ppl I knew, (particularly women) always try to 'sell' what I did for them as a return to me. it is quite hurtful to see this. Nothing can be compared in dollars and cents so casually. Even a movie date or a tea apptment, being absent does not equates to paying me a movie ticket, or paying me my starbucks coffee and calling it quits??!!

How would you feel if someone did it to you? and kept compareing it with equal value in terms of monetary? Sorry but doesnt relationships exist? Doesnt feelings exists? Doesnt gratitude exists? If I need money, I'll go to the ATM and press. Not for my friends, especially, to throw at me, after they.. you know.. DO THIS TO ME?

I do think tt there are ppl who values relations out there. but there also are ppl who cheapens it in front of me. Just sad to see this sight.

I guess i'll have to see if there's any reason for me to see her. afterall, I had given her the green light to handle my OA account of 10K. and as a friend, I showed my support, and I'll leave it as that.

Tml there is a function with my nehs and some shipyard staffs in jurong. So another entertaining night ... luckily its at Jurong east, I can eat and f**k off very fast from there hahaha!

So till we blog again guys.

Finally December

Ahhh...

Everyday in G is like a fight against the monsters in the movie '30days of night'.

I was nearly in tears few days ago, as the deadline for the catalogues which Adwin wanted is near. and I am nowhere to getting 300 sets for him.

I told Eric about this, and he in kindness, helped me asked the gals and Sribas to help me after 5pm. On a thursday night.

Hence I bought pizza and offered to drive them home as a 'bargain' provided they get some work done for me. I am grateful, for they worked fast. We talked, we bonded. and we managed to understand one another quite well.

They understood that east have to be a grounchy man infront of the blangalahs during office hrs. and they understood that it is difficult for east to talk to them as normal colleagues with a hint of a smile when those workers are around.

Although we never did managed to finished the work, because of eternal factors like some gal named Liling played me out and left for Shanghai with the other bosses and never updated me on 3 of the catalogues ranges that she is in charge of. This shall be reflected to Adwin via email on my current demise which I couldnt fulfill. Now I dont have a choice. I aint used to filing this kinda complaint if it is my fault. Fact that it isnt.

G is having a beach party coming 8th Dec. which Connie told me that she worked for G for the past 3 yrs, and the ex-GM never did fancy any form of get-together with the blue collars ppl. this new GM came in on April'07 and did some major changes, which includes having some welfare for our workers. I liked his ways.

Now the catalogues project I can safely say it is behind me. I have a new project at hand. Jurong ISland invasion.

I am starting to do some powerpoint slides. and Victor (not you kor XD) from the other sales side offered to get me some leads by talking to Exxon Mobile on my behalf. I just need to do some presentation to them on our product and hopefully convince them that our products worked on industrial appliances as well.

Eric is giving me another deadline again. 15th Dec, send all catalogues to relevant companies in Jurong Island, and hopefully there will be responses for us, and we can enter Jurong Island by next year and do our sales pitching.

OkaY ENuff of work. I watched the horror show by Josh Harnett. 30 days of night.

Although the plot is weak (probably the writer from hollywood joined the strike and left it undone halfway) but the scenes make up for the lack of substance it had.

It is gross. It does a lot of unthinkable and makes you ponder. Will you kill a little girl and chop off her head? Will you kill your best friend? Will you kill your neighbour whom you knew for a long time in a small town? Will you kill an old man who told you to kill him because he is.. changing?

Some scenes are damn gross. Josh colleague was bitten and he lose his hand in a grinding machine, and while in horrified pain, he is slowly changing into a vampire, very disturbing, and Josh promptly chop off his head on the spot.

Well the scene that makes the ticket price worth is Josh looking at the sun. He saw the last sunset of that month, and when the first sunset came, happens to be his death. It touches quite a lot of raw nerves inside me. I can imagine his pain while dying in the arms of his loved one. I give this show a thumbs up. Even though the plot is loose. the scenes, makes up for the adrenaline pumping euphoria.

I wont tell you how it ended, but you can go see for yourself. prepare to be scared silly by shrieking vampires and some foreign language which the vampires spoke. (luckily they had sub-titles)

I went Sitex'07 at the expo on Saturday. BIG MISTAKE. I went in the evening. I joined a row of cars waiting to go inside the carpark. Waiting for 40mins to join the carpark queue. and spend 20mins vooming around just to find a parking lot.

As usual, a lot of ppl. and the crowds makes the place more hot. the models were there *slurps* but I didnt managed to get anytime. and I left the place within an hr. Really waste petrol and time. *sighZ*

Oh... before I leave this blantanly bland entry. I finally bought a product from pharmacy. Its call GROWELL. (for the treatment of *ahem* hair loss)

Yes I realized the hair aint growing much on the hairline anymore. YES I REALIZED the gel I am using is making it worst. YES I realized, because of my age, the metabolism isnt working very well.

so its my first attempt at this product. I reckon if Zan's hair is growing quite well, (he's under presecription) and I do care about how I look. I am willing to give it a try.

So before I end this, Christmas is coming peeps. another year is leaving us. time to make some big plans if you're approaching 30's. I started to play Christmas songs in my car audio systems now. I really liked X'mas. but I guess.. this year, I will be spending X'mas alone. its been 4 months in G, and my probabtion wont be ending anywhere near Feb. So I cant leave the country yet.

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoo lets start some plans and do some partying!!!